The Perplexing Nature of the Happy-Sad State

I have often said that my art attempts to express the experience of conflicting emotions that occur in a simultaneous moment. Lately I have been thinking a lot about that very concept and how it has run through my life like a very strong thread — sometimes sewn tightly into the weave of my life’s fabric like a steadfast part of me, other times dangling like a wayward loose thread wanting desperately to be cut free.

We are all familiar with the idea of something being “bittersweet” —  two conflicting emotions like two sides of the same coin. But I am attempting to release something perhaps stronger and more broader than that. It is the idea of living a life that is both extremely happy and also extremely sad. Of feeling very accomplished yet also not quite reaching a certain potential. Of possessing great reservoirs of love but living alone.

Things like that.

I used to feel that I was quite alone in all this. But I have come to see that there are many, many people feeling the same. They talk to me at the gallery, they send me emails and Facebook messages, they whisper to me at events. I make my art to restore my equilibrium when I get overwhelmed by conflicting feelings. And I also make my art for those people who understand and resonate with what I am trying to say visually. My art is not for an art critic or for someone else to decide whether or not it is “good enough.” My art is for those who find compassion, understanding, and healing in it.

These 3 pieces are part of this whole line of thought which has now become the basis of a memoir that I am writing. I am excited about this new project. It is something I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time and now the timing finally feels right to get it going.

The Perplexing Nature of the Happy-Sad State I, II, and III | 12x12 Mixed Media on Wood Panel